Things I DESPERATELY want to believe

1. Food does not make me happy.
2. French fries and potato chips do more harm than the good that they taste.
3. Sunscreen is not an option.
4. I like my job.
5. There is a way to balance my love for cooking and my desire to stay fit.
6. The guy that just cut me off on the freeway is on the way home to save his favoriet childhood pet from eminent danger, and not just looking to get to happy hour 5 minutes faster.
7. I can control what upsets or angers me.
8. Food is not my friend.
9. Someday I will fit into my skinny jeans.

Back on the horse

Today started and ended well. Completed my run with Deric this morning, no stopping (which is a new favorite thing of mine to do, a.k.a. quitting). Had healthy lunch, breakfast, snack, and dinner. Going to bed feeling light and healthy!

Made pita pizzas for dinner, easy, quick, healthy, and delicious. Didn't put feta or basil on there, instead, spread a little pesto over the ricotta, yum.
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Greek-Pizzas/Detail.aspx

Sad, Mad, Glad

Sad- that it's only taken me 1 week to break one of my "discipline" resolutions. I weighed myself. and found that I have not made any progress.

Mad- that I know what the solutions are, I've been here before, I've done this! "BEEN THERE, DONE THAT!!!" But I choose to do things that hurt my chances of success... "self-sabotage" is what Deric calls it.

Glad- that I have not given up on my goals and become complacent. A work in progress is still a work. It's over when I say it's over!

For fun, here's a list of what I ate today:

Breakfast: Slice Spinach Quiche, Sausage breakfast burrito

Snack: Cheez-it mix (2 cups), Fruit, cheese/crackers/salami, hummus/pita

Lunch: Tortilla chips with queso/guac; French Silk pie (which I baked), birthday cake with buttercream frosting (which I baked).

Afternoon snack: Shockingly not hungry yet!

Cherry-pitting, lemon juicing, processing FUN!

I have had the most fun this evening with my newest kitchen gadgets!!!

I recently brought a food processor, a device that I have been yearning for, but couldn't convince myself that I needed it.. but then I had to make Hummus, in bulk, and the recipe asked for the processor.. so of course I bought it. I bought one of the cheapest ones out there, a Hamilton Beach from Wal-mart.

So far I have made:
- A grotesque amount of hummus, after which I decided that the store-bought kind is better

-Pie Crust - my first pie ever!

- I sliced potatoes for scalloped potatoes, so easy!

- I grated Grueyere cheese for the potatoes, I will never hand-grate again!

I also bought a cherry pitter... a must! My father picked 200lbs of cherries this past weekend in Oregon, so I decided to make a pie. I attempted to pit exactly 2 cherries by hand. After a few nicks with the knife, I decided to spend the $13 and get one from Bed Bath & Beyond.

And finally, I bought a lemon juicer! I saw one at BB&B for $15, but then when I was at Wal-mart later, I found an almost identical one for $6, oh wallyworld, you rarely disappoint :)

Progress

Day 2:

Victories:

• I have worked out 4 days this week!
• I have not weighed myself since Monday night (so hard! used to weigh twice daily, minimum)
• I have been drinking more water
• I feel great!

Works in Progress:

• I ate Chex Mix yesterday (210 cal) because I forgot to pack an afternoon snack
• I ate 3 pieces of Dark Chocolate, at lunch, in my car (we'll just go ahead and call it a closet)
• Need to add Protein to my diet, probably will start adding whey protein to shakes
• Need to start drinking shakes
• Need to start keeping a calorie chart
• Need to make a list of things in life that are more important than weight-loss.

Other:

• I need to buy a cherry pitter

What I ate this weekend

Just to see how bad it was, and why I weigh 2-3 lbs more than I did before the weekend, I thought I would add up everything I ate last weekend.

Friday Night:
Hungarian Sausage
2 slices bread
Licorice (at the airport)
Mints
20 Crackers(at tab's house)
Peach salsa

Saturday:
Starbucks Sausage breakfast sandwich
Coffee w/cream
Cake doughnut
Trail mix
M&Ms
Prime Rib
Teriyaki Chicken
Rosemary potatoes
Bacon green beans
salad w/ thousand island
Shortbread cookie
Cheesecake
Chocolate/strawberry cake
Meatball soup

Sunday:
Raisin Bran w/milk
Romanian cakes (5 pieces)
Coffee w/ cream
1/2 cheeseburger (thanks Mackenzie!)
Hotdog
Corn on Cob
Green beans w/ extra bacon
grilled Veggies
Cherries
Bocana Dolce( an awesome meringue & berry dessert)

Weddings, Weightloss and Willpower

My sister Jen's wedding was this weekend. The wedding was beautiful, there was little to no drama, and there was alot of food... which I ate alot of, and when I was done eating, I ate some more...

Today is my 2nd year anniversary. It's been a wonderful 2 years :) To celebrate, we are probably going to eat something special, then I will want dessert... to reward me for being married a whopping 2 years, yes, I should have more food...

Anniversaries remind me of where I am and where I have come from... My closet full of jeans also does the same thing! I have jeans that I fit into currently (4 pairs). I have jeans from a few months ago that are pretty snug when I first put them on, but after a few squats and exaggerated lunges, they fit perfectly! Then I have my pre-wedding jeans... the jeans stop at mid thigh...
the sad part is that I know my body has changed since I got married, but I didn't realize how much!!! I can't believe that I ever fit into those jeans!!
when I married, I vowed not to "let myself go".. and although I don't think I let go completely, I'm just a doughnut and french fry away from throwing all caution to the wind and filling my life with indulgences.

What I am lacking is will power and discipline. yes, I said it.
I LACK DISCIPLINE!
I have other names for it, I have a dozen self-diagnosed psychological problems that I can blame my problems on, but I think I have finally come to terms that I am terrible at sticking with things, and have an even harder time finishing things. which makes me hope and pray that doesn't apply to all aspects of my life, just food.

So, as a commemoration of my wedding anniversary, I'm going to try to be committed to a healthy lifestyle for one month. For one month, I am going to try to live a disciplined life. I plan on writing about it - mostly to vent (because it will be hard!) but also I believe that it could be therapeutic (says Dr. Lyg).

So my following month will look as such:

• Exercise 5 days a week, no skipping for no reason! Even if it's just my 1 workout DVD!
• Low-calorie, lower carb diet, not completely low-carb, just less than I am eating now
• No scale hopping, no weighing myself or measuring body fat for 1 month
• No negative thoughts, i do not attend the school of positive thinking, however, it is very hard to achieve a goal if you are constantly telling yourself you can't do it.
• Limit adding fat to meals, some olive oil is good, but i need to eat more nuts and fish
• Mix it up! try new gym locations and classes to change up my workout routine.
• Watch less TV, less mindless entertainment = less mindless eating
• Cook only recipes with nutrional values, most healthy recipes have these
• PRAYER, to achieve the above, I cannot do it in my own strength.

Happy Days

My favorite things about today:

1. I have sore leg muscles (means they're on their way to looking fierce, not flabby :)
2. I only worked 8 hours!
3. I had 1/4 of a cake doughnut
4. I was able (by the grace of God, seriously took prayer) to not eat the other 3/4 of it.
5. I took a nap in my car at lunch because it was too cold inside the office ( it was 104 degrees outside)
6. I was able to speak my mind to a coworker without feeling guilty.
7. Someone guessed I weighed 104 lbs! (obviously someone very clueless) but I'll take it as a compliment.
8. Had pasta primavera for dinner, with fresh herbs off my window sill.

ahhhh

Weekends

Today I had an egg and coffee breakfast. I read Good Housekeeping, a really good article on "Emotinal Eating". Then I read my giant cookbook of "1000 Low Fat, low sugar, low cholesterol, low salt recipes". Very good read.

Deric played soccer and I mowed the lawn. Only fitting because I skipped my workout yesterday. Checked on the garden: we have an on-going supply of cherry tomatoes. Our okra is being attacked by aphids, i think. The mystery plant turned out to be butternut squash ( i was secretly hoping for spaghetti squash). Also, our lawn has become the local bird hang-out. We turned on our soaker hose, and a few minutes later, we had about 50 birds hopping around the hose, presumably bathing, so cute.

Made salmon burgers for lunch, on the Foreman, pretty tasty! Not dry like I though they would be.

Shopped, found two cute dresses for Jen's wedding! yay, hunt is over.

Had sushi and udon noodles! yum! i love the gummy texture of udon noodles, how you can sink your teeth into them.

Researched France a little more: Here are the things I will eat in france so far:
1. Fois Gras
2. Escargot (snails)
3. Truffles
4. Cheese
5. Stinky cheese
6. Bleu cheese
7. pate
8. duck
9. cassoulet
10. french sausage
11. clafouti
12. Les frites
13. Le pain au chocolat
14. Les bon bons
15. Le gateau
16. beure (homemade)

Things I will not eat in France:
1. Blood Sausage

Lists

Today I decided that my life needed organization. Because I simply cannot remember things by writing them on sticky notes and then forgetting where I put the sticky note..... so I will start making lists. Yes, lists will do it! I shall be organized.

Things I need to organize:

1. my thoughts

2. my pictures, (boxes upon boxes)

3. my spice cabinet

4. my pantry

5. my laundry room/garage/bike closet/tool shed

6. my junk drawer

7. my office closet

8. my mind

9. my gym bag

Things I've resolved to do this year so they dont make it on next year's resolution list:

1. get organized

2. get to my ultimate, goal, "i will be so happy" weight/%body fat

3. get my echocardiography license

4. stop worrying about my weight

5. stop adding fat to the meals I cook (ha ha)

Things I will probably not get done this year that will go on next year's resolution list:

1. (see above list)

oh, and it rained and hailed today! what???!!!! that's crazy! it was like 100 degrees here. the hail would hit the ground and melt instantly. so i took this pic, love it, so Texas: the American flag, the Ford Mustang, crepe myrtle blooming, and crazy rain.... ahhh....

Rest In Peace Ghidu

Ghidu

April 13, 1919 - June 19, 2009

My Grandfather, Nicolai Stremciuc, known as "Ghidu" to everyone. It means grandfather in Ukrainian.
He's gone to be with his Maker, and I believe it was a joyous reunion which we cannot imagine. He dedicated his whole life in the pursuit of knowing Christ and living for him. May his life be forever an example of how we should be deliberate and unwavering in the cause of Christ.
You will be missed Ghidu.

Tomato-Basil Bisque from Tom Thumb

This soup was worth writing about. Maybe I was just hungry, but it was GOOD! the only other tomato-basil soup i've had was at "la' Madelines", and this, surprisingly, tops that. Very good, creamy, stayed warm on my drive to work, has a little spicy kick at the end of each bite, num num! If you have a tom Thumb (same thing as Safeway) in your area, try it!

I still don't like hiking boots (shoes)

to a shoe fanatic, (like myself), the clunky hiking boot is definitely the ugly duckling in the bunch, okay maybe tied for last place with the high-top reebok velcro 1980's sneaker....and I swore never to buy a pair.

until we booked a trip to Yosemite with Reid and Tab,... Reid is a major hiker/climber, the real kind, has all the gear, has climbed real mountains... etc. so, we were told we need to buy hiking boots, blaugh! Deric already had a pair, so I had to trek to REI all by my hestitant self. I tell the shoe guy, who is clearly a climbing fiend, because he's wearing these "shoes" that are like toe socks, but have some rubber on the bottom, yes, the kind of thing that would only look good on a "real" climber.

So I tell the guy up front "I need a hiking boot, grrrr, but I refuse to buy a high-top boot!" And he looks at me like "oh you poor wanna-be girly-girl, you're gonna be miserable" I don't care! Listen, I may have blisters the size of australia after i'm done, but at least my legs will appear 3 inches longer without my ankle cut off! Yes, I may be vain,... but chances are I will probably wear these shoes less than 10 times in my life, so I'm not buying an ugly, clunky, high-top shoe ever again! Yes, i may be rediculously irrational and defiant, and I should probably take the advice of a climbing pro, but I'm not.

Hiking boots are ugly. period.

and I bought a low-top pair, which I am wearing around, trying to break them in, ick.. they don't even match my scrubs.. but they're semi-comfortable..

and i'm developing a blister on the outside of my right ankle, that's just part of breaking them in, right?

I just looked at the REI reviews for this shoe: not good, hmmmm. 3 out of 5 stars.. oh boy, am I in for some pain!

The Mondays

yup, I have the mondays, see, yes it's tuesday, but I have mondays off and tuesdays are my first days back to work...
is it normal to have intense dread when I think about work? what does that mean exactly?
I'm probably not the only one out there feeling this way, but I'm having to drag myself out of bed every morning.
I should probably start working out in the mornings again... made me a much happier person... there's something to be said about endorphins..

big day yesterday, had the hardwood floors in the hallway redone... and I learned something,
floor lacquer is not a smell you can get used to.
We had to hop the hallway to our bedroom, close the door, put a towel under the door, close the AC vent off, open the windows and put on the ceiling fan... ugh! I hate circulating air around my head.. i'm sure it's because my parents brainwashed us at an early age that we would surely "catch a draft", and for as long as I can remember, i've been sleeping like ostrich, head buried under the sheets with just a little air pocket for breathing...
so, needless to say, did not sleep well last night... every time the wind blew our blinds against the window, I was certain the neighborhood hoodlums were coming to rob us of our magnificent 27" LCD TV and brand-new food processor!
Tonight, we get the second coat of lacquer... yay...

Esther Party

Earlier this month, I was involved in a Beth Moore bible study in the life of Esther. Tomorrow night, we're having an "Esther Party" or banquet to celebrate our time in that study and to share what God has done in our lives through the study. This was an amazing study, I highly recommend it.
I am very excited and spent the last few days getting things ready in order to prepare for the party. I offered to bring side dishes. The theme is a "mediterranean/persian feast", so tonight I will attempt to make homemade Hummus, Baba Ganoush and marinate Feta & olives... wish me luck :)

Easy Greek Tilapia

Made this for dinner last night... Found a similar recipe in Good Housekeeping magazine, but didn't have the ingredients it asked for..so I just used their cooking method and it turned out great!

Easy Greek Tilapia

Ingredients:
4-6 Tilapia fillets (unthawed if frozen)
1/2 pint grape or cherry tomatoes
3 sprigs parsley, 1 tsp of dried parsley can work also
Juice of 1/2 lemon or 1-2 Tablespoons lemon juice
Cooking Spray

• Preheat oven to 400 F
• Spray 13x9 baking dish with cooking spray.
• Season tilapia on both sides with greek seasoning and place in baking dish.
• Cut tomatoes in half and place them in the pan around the fish.
• Squeeze lemon juice over the fish.
• Chop parsley and sprinkle over the fish
• Cover with aluminum foil
• Bake for 16 minutes
• Uncover and bake for an additional 3-5 minutes to let the fish brown a little
• Enjoy!

The final result! Tasted great, and I don't even like cooked tomatoes!

First-time fondant Fun!

So, my wonderful friend, Rebecca, asked if I could make graduation cupcakes for her husband's graduation party.. of course I said yes! She found a pic of little graduation caps made out of fondant online and asked if I could do something like that.... ummmm... "of course!", I said.

Yeah, I had never worked with fondant before, but I love a good challenge.

I spent the morning and some of my afternoon on Memorial day making little fondant graduation caps and diplomas... I think they turned out pretty good for a first-timer. And I had so much fun making them. It's so rewarding to take a lump of fondant and make it resemble something.. I think I may have found a new hobby :)

I used the pre-colored fondant made by Wilton's which I purchased at Michaels. It didn't take very much fondant, I had about 1/2 of each color left-over.

I made my own templates out of paper and just jumped right in!

Here's the final result! Strawberry , Vanilla, Chocolate.

Catching Up

Well, it's been 2 weeks since Naomi and Florin's wedding, but I am still looking at their wonderful wedding pictures! Their photographers, Anna & Paul, were amazing! Not only were they wonderful to work with, but they also do amazing work and really captured the feeling of their wedding. They have by far done the best wedding photos that I have seen! So, if anyone is getting married in the Chicago area, they are the ones to hire!

The slideshow of their wedding pics can be seen here . If you want to see more samples of their work, you can visit her website at: http://www.annaguziak.com/ . Naomi & Florin's pics were also published on http://vintageglamblog.com/ which is a cool wedding blog to browse.

My sisters and I also had a great time working on the flowers for the wedding. Thanks for trusting us with that Nomers! I had a blast doing the main altar bouquets... it really made me question why I am still working in ultrasound!!!!! Flower arranging is one of the few things that I feel I could do forever and still not have it feel like real work... Especially if the bride gives you a starting point, but then lets you have some creative freedom, thanks Nomers! She really had a clear vision in mind and bought beautiful flowers online.

I had never worked with amaryllis before, but they turned out beautiful, especially her bridal bouquet. It was a simple bouquet of white amaryllis and white freesia. We just wrapped it in floral tape. Then it was covered in an olive satin and the final layer was some leftover lace from her wedding dress... so pretty! She also bought a beautiful pin that we added to the front of the bouquet... original, simple, stunning.

All the girls, sisters, family friends (by that I mean Nancy) and cousins worked on all the table centerpieces. So cute! I'm so glad Naomi picked lemons to be in the arrangements, they looked so fresh (even though plastic) and really warmed up the area.

Our cousins Monica and Alina also decided to finish Naomi's aisle runner. Nomers made sewn her own aisle runner to match the color-scheme (olive green, yellow & gold). She also wanted to paint a monogram on the end of it in gold paint, but gave up on the idea due to lack of time. Luckily, our awesome cousins saw the template of the monogram laying there, and they took it upon themselves to finish it... All I know is that it involved breaking a window, duct tape, strategic lighting and about 6 people! But they got it done and Naomi was so happy with the finished result!

Jen and Otilia made most of the boutonierres and corsages, and they looked cute! Thanks for all the hard work guys!

Jen and I also had to scramble last minute to put flowers on the cake. We left the ceremony as soon as it was over, missing the family pics... oh well. There were already guests there and the cake was just as white and unadorned as could be. Jen found some ribbon, I barked orders to Deric to find me some sicssors (he loved that! sorry babe!) and somehow we finished it before most of the guests arrived. Thanks for keeping calm boys (Deric & Brandon) because I was a mess! I was babbling non-stop and emotional and erratic trying to make sure all the details were taken care of.... thank goodness Deric is more even-tempered!

The night ended well, especially when Reid master-minded the idea to add some romance to the newly-married couples' honeymoon suite that night. We sat with Tab & Reid and Jenn & Brandon and we all brainstormed some things that we could do to make their ummmm special night a little more special.... and I think we were successful! 'nough said :)

Now we plan for Jenn & Brandon's wedding!!! Can't wait! More flowers!

Almost over!

Luckily this day has gone by fairly quickly... i have been so excited about going to Chicago tomorrow for nomer's wedding !!!! I didn't even take my morning pre-work nap today! Usually I leave home at 6am, arrive at work at 6:30, take a 30min nap in my car, and ready to go at 7! I finally fessed up to Deric this morning when he asked me why I left so early yesterday... ooops :) Ok, I admit it - I'm a closet napper! Turns out he thought I didn't have to be at work until 7:30, so he was wondering why I left and hour and half early for work... I guess it could be worse, I could be leaving early to spend time at McDonalds (yummmm, sausage biscuit goodness).

We had a company meeting today and we received our annual self-assessment surveys today.. what a joke. we know that we are not getting raises this year, so what's the purpose of doing a self-evaluation? Doesn't everyone just give themselves an "A+" like I do?! I always feel like I have to find something terrible about myself, just so I don't seem like I think i'm so great...
But, I do a good job and take pride in my work, so I hope I am consistently doing my job to the best of my abilities. I think the company should spend more time addressing the dress code. Last week I was able to see a girl's bra straight through her white T-shirt! I felt like I should at least take her out to dinner since I all-of-a-sudden knew her so intimately!!! I work at a cardiology clinic, not Hooters! Enough said.

I am just so excited to see my family this weekend. and to see nomers getting married :) can't wait!

Friday!

Ugh! It's been a loooong week, but it'll be over in about 10 hours. Today my skin is a lovely shade of Maine crab Red. All for the sake of vanity! I haven't been to a tanning bad since last July and thought that I could just slide right into the super-duper-tan-in-10-minutes bed and have no problems going the entire 10mintues.... wrong! The worst part is that I hate my tanning salon. I hated it the first time I walked into it and the walls were royal blue, there was european techno blaring thoughout the place, and the only employee there called me sweetie, or honey or something inappropriate like that. then he proceeded to take me on a 20 minute tour of his place and explained to me why the UVA and UVB rays that his beds emit are soooooo much safer than the ones that the actual sun emits.... yup, I should've run and never looked back.

But being the logical, responsible and reasonable person I am, instead of running, I signed a 1-year contract with them! Yup, apparently my alter ego, the vain one, needed a tan for her sister trip to Vegas and could not fathom going to Vegas with her current pasty-white skin. oh, and this was the only tanning salon close enough to work to make it possible to tan during my lunch hour.

Which I did yesterday... so everytime my bra straps scrape my sensitive shoulder, the pain will remind me that yes, I am willing to pay dearly - physically and monetarily for that ultimate shade of bronze. (which I hope this red will eventually turn into)

Grapefruit
Doritos
Velveeta
Munsteur Cheese
American Cheese
Cheez Whiz
Tangerines
Mangos

Orange Foods R Good

Finally, the inspiration for this very serious, politically correct blog:

Cheddar Cheese
Cheetos
Spicy Cheetos
Cantaloupe
Carrots
Curry
Cheese Curls
Oranges
Clementines